Happy Grateful Day!

Happy Grateful Day!

Robert Emmons, the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude, describes it as this, “First” he writes, “it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received.” The second part of gratitude, he explains, “we recognize that the sources of this goodness are outside of ourselves…We acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset—gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.” Further he says, “I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion, because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.” So why is it so hard for people to receive gratitude?

My mindset and my heart have evolved over the years. You see, I think I used to allow my circumstances to define who I was. If things were good, I was good. If things were bad or challenging, I felt defeated. Having truly searched myself, I’ve come to realize how much our hearts and heartbreaks define our response to life. Sounds so deep and crazy I know…but hang in there with me for a bit. I hope you’ll be grateful you did…haha couldn’t resist. 

When things were going really well, often I remember thinking two things: when will the other shoe drop? and I so don’t deserve this. Two very self defeating thoughts. I had such a rough time experiencing any kind of blessing or success. Rather than just being grateful for it, I wanted to explain it, to define it, to hold on to it as long as I could because who knew when the next time would be? When others would do things for me, oh my gosh, that was the worst! Pouring out and giving to others that was easy. Being there to do anything, to help, to lend a hand came so easy. But receiving? Heck no! It made me feel awkward. If I’m completely honest, it made me feel vulnerable. Vulnerability made me feel exposed in some way. Exposed to the potential of being hurt. 

So what changed for me? I arrived at a place in my life where I could no longer be self sufficient. Without going in to too many details, I basically hit a very rough patch in life. The only way I was going to get through it is by asking for help, by surrendering to God and reaching out to community. I had to acknowledge that on my own, there was no way I’d get through this horrendous time. I had to allow myself to be vulnerable enough to tell others. I had to be willing to be brave enough to accept help and truly allow my friends to “see” me. I had to find the courage to lean and press in as Robert Emmons put it to be “supported and affirmed by other people.”

Huge lesson. What I realized is that I not only learned how to receive this gracious gift of love in so many forms, but I also learned to be more aware of others. I began to look for opportunities to pay it forward. Whether by word or deed, I attempt to live life from a place of such gratitude that I can’t help but encourage, assist, and bless others every minute I can. 

Many of you out there have been the wind beneath my wings. My tentpoles that have held me up at a time when I could barely stand on my own two feet. My joy and gladness when all I wanted to do was cry. To all of you, a very warm thank you from a heart that wells over with gratitude. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

So thankful my son is home from college and is able to spend Thanksgiving with our family. He even brought home a friend from South Africa. What’s been interesting is his friend relaying that most Americans, at least their age, had no idea why Thanksgiving is celebrated. Most people have told him it’s a time we get together and eat! Sounds about right…I’m wondering if we have forgotten what the spirit of Thanksgiving is all about? Hmmm….

Back in 1621when this group of about 100 were seeking a new life in a new world, an Indian entered their camp. He welcomed them. He taught them about plants that were poisonous. He taught them how to extract sap from trees. He taught them how to cultivate their crops. The settlers were grateful to the Indians who welcomed them. They shared a meal together, thankful for the new relationship and for all they learned from each other. This was the first Thanksgiving. 

Reflecting on that, made me think about being a fledgling to this industry. Cheesy maybe, a stretch…perhaps. But, when I first arrived at Garrison, I was received with open arms. I was taught about our mission and our core values. I was given lessons in how we, with great care, cultivate business relationships here. How we strive to ensure we are respectful of our client’s business as we move in to transform spaces thereby transforming people’s lives.

You see, I realized quickly we aren’t just a company specializing in renovating. We are a company who is grateful for their clients and for each other. We are thankful for the opportunity to share our expertise and perform a function that will enhance many of the places we recreate. Often times, we rescue spaces that weren’t being utilized well and maximize them by building the vision of someone’s dreams. 

Yes on this Thanksgiving, I’m grateful to share my life with my Garrison family. I’m thankful for the opportunity to have met so many of you in my marketing endeavors and I look forward to welcoming more of you into our world. 

Spiritual Extermination

Quite often when I read, I picture myself in the story. Do you ever do that? It makes the experience of peering in the window so much more dimensional. This morning as I was retrieving articles for business for my LinkedIn page, I came across an article written by Sarah Gensburger, “The Banality of Robbing the Jews" in the New York Times. Sarah described the pillaging of the Jews during World War II. It brought me to tears. It began with German troops arriving in Paris in 1940. At first, it was about taking their art collections, but then it became so personal. As the Final Solution was enacted in January of 1942, the ravaging spread to the entire Jewish population. Please remember most of this population was made up of poor immigrants from Eastern Europe. This senseless act was part of the effort to take from them not only their personal belongings, but their dignity, their worth, their place in the world. Yes, pillaging them was used as an essential tool of extermination. 

This occurred in France, Belgium and the Netherlands. From 1942 to 1944, at least 70,000 homes were emptied, in Paris 38,000 apartments were stripped bare. It took 674 trains to transport the items to Germany. Nothing was left untouched: toys, dishes, family photo albums even light bulbs. What’s worse, they used the Jews in the work camps to sort and crate the items. From 1943 to 1944, nearly 800 Jewish men and women lived and worked among their belongings. Can you imagine them seeing their own possessions pass before their eyes and them realizing that they too were considered only objects to be moved or done away with too?

The nicer items were set aside for the supervisors of the camps and their families and friends. Some of the Jewish detainees who had been tailors, cobblers or leather workers before their arrest, were forced to make their wares for the Nazi dignitaries and their wives. Reading all this was so much for my spirit to stand. It broke my heart and stirred an anger in me. The objective of this heinous act was to destroy all traces of the Jews identity. To take all their belongings, some practical and some precious and generalize them in a way that stripped any personal identity attached to them. The Germans wanted to discount them till they believed they didn’t matter. To squelch any iota of hope that may have still burned in their heart. 

As I said before, I really “personalize” what I read. I have been a single mother and a single woman. I have no husband or additional income to assist me. I work to provide for my son and I. I have to choose carefully what I spend money on. Though these things are material possessions, there’s a pride in being able to give these provisions to him and for me to live. It would wreck me for someone to come in and take what I have rightfully earned. It would anger me for someone to come into our space and pillage through those things precious to me. I would not be able to watch them destroy the pictures of Jake competing, pictures of us at family gatherings, items that hold sentimental value for us.  And yet, these are just “things”. The bigger wound is that I don’t matter. I would have no control over this terror taking place. There is no one to fight for me or defend against it. 

Today we don’t have Nazi occupations coming through and pillaging our homes, but we allow an invisible enemy to come in and pick pocket our lives and the lives of our family. We almost forget to lock the door to our hearts so that there is easy access to take our hope, our dignity, our worth. The longings and desires of our hearts go out the window as the assertive enemy comes in to rob us. Any shred of passion left is ushered out in a box sealed to be burned in a proverbial bon fire along with so many others belongings in the world. We don’t realize it but we have allowed a spiritual extermination. 

We have allowed ourselves to be taken to mental concentration camps devoid of hope, littered with bitterness and unforgiveness. We poison ourselves with the thought that we have no one to save us and yet we were saved so long ago. Somewhere along the way we missed the invitation to freedom. Jesus wrote our Emancipation Proclamation and we’re still serving as slaves to our fears in the fields of life. It’s time to take off your shackles friends, you are free.