Come to me...

Mathew 6:25-26

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.Are you not of more value than they?"

This scripture has been so precious to me lately. I have been in a valley for a little while now. In my wilderness, my Father has asked if I trust him? Hmmmm….great question. Does my daily life reflect full trust in my Daddy to provide for me? To take care of me? To lead me through the valley? 

When my son Jake was 10 months old I taught him to walk. Jake skipped crawling all together. Much like his mother, he decided enough of this rolling around on the ground and pulling myself up to a table top! I want to get from A to B and I certainly don't want to crawl there, I want to run!

So I would stand just a little ways in front of him, stand him up, and hold out my hands. Just think of it, if you have never ever experienced "walking" before you have literally relied on other people to carry you around, there's a whole other spiritual lesson there… but seriously you don't know this feeling, this movement, and the only thing you have to rely on is this person in front of you telling you to come to them and if you fall they'll catch you? So, because this person has shown you trust, you believe them. This person feeds you, changes those awful soiled diapers, clothes you every day. You don't have to put an extra bottle away for yourself somewhere not knowing if at the next feeding time they're going to show up. No, of course not. I love Jake. I will always take care of him, at 10 months old or 20 years old. He is mine and I love him. 

He takes one step, then another and all the while I am smiling in awe of this precious child and the feat he is accomplishing. And no, I never let him fall. Before I know it, that child is running and into everything. But isn't this a sweet memory we all have of our children when they first learned to take those steps. Steps of trust. 

Going through my desert, all I have in front of me is my Daddy and he's asking me to take my first step. He promises to catch me if I fall. He reminds me that I have never gone hungry. He has always provided me shelter. I've always been clothed. So what is there to fear? He is my provider. I take my first step toward him, a leap of faith and He's smiling, He's rejoicing, He is in awe of the feat I am accomplishing. So where are you today? Are you still relying on yourself struggling to get through? Are you holding on to tabletops with a tight grip, afraid of letting go? Your Father is waiting for you to come to Him and He promises to not let you fall.

We Are Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

Psalm 139:14

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. This verse came to me as I relaxed at the end of the day. But, as I wrote it down I thought, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made…those two things don't seem to be in agreement. Further, my wounds screamed loudly,"even God was fearful of making you because of what you are!"Wow. I refused to believe the lie, could the attack on this woman's heart really be that easy? As I looked up the Hebrew meaning for "fearfully", there it was-- an awe of reverence, standing in awe at the beauty of something. Amazing. God made me and was in awe. Not because of my sins, not because of my waywardness, He was in awe because of what He created in me. He marveled at me. And wonderfully, well that means I'm fabulous, marvelous and yes wonderfully made. Why is it then it seems to be easier to focus on the lies about ourselves. Yes, admittedly and honestly, there are times we have failed. But, do we stay there? Does the failure handcuffs and keep us? Does it make us prisoners of the offense? Do we allow Holy Spirit to come and convict us and then bid us return? The Hebrew word for return in this context is t'shuva. We return to who we were meant to be. In Genesis it says we are made in God's image. There are truths about us because of who God is. Just as we resemble our earthly parents in certain ways, we have our eternal Father's imprints on us too. He blessed us with gifts to reflect who He is. The original us is amazing. The problem is we have a hard time believing it. For one reason or another, we fail to trust God so We begin searching for an identity when we already have one. We allow ourselves to be lost in the kaleidoscope of people we meet, people who influence us, and even excitement of movies and the fables of fairytales. We seek ourselves and yet there is already someone in us, the someone we were meant to be. Our original. Why would we settle for only second best when the first version of us, the intended version of us is perfect. For we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Every Perfect Gift...

James 1:17

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."

This scripture is so often misquoted. I usually here it as "every good and perfect gift is from above" and somehow we paint God as one that only rains down good things. But if you look at the scripture, there are two separate things James is speaking about here. He says every good gift and every perfect gift is from above. Good we get, who doesn't want to receive good gifts? Every perfect gift, hmmm…this one gives me pause. Every perfect gift according to what God knows is perfect for us at this time. It was perfect for the Israelites to feed on manna, it was perfect for God to ask Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, it was perfect for Jesus to go to the cross for us. Just as it is perfect for those with the bad report from the doctor, perfect for us to be out of work, perfect for us to have to rely on Him and nothing else. You see good, good we like. We have both arms extended wide open to catch the good gifts. Prosperity, yes! Kids excelling in school, awesome! Job promotion, thank you God! But is it harder for us to thank Him when the gifts are just well…perfect? When the road is hard do we look to the heavens and bless God? When we have been passed over in the last 4 jobs getting down to the final 2 but consistently come up short, do we thank Him? When we have nothing left but a pocketful of hope, do we sing His praises? The reality is, I've had many a pity party and unfortunately many of you were invited. In my victim mentality, if I'm honest, I shook my head at God. I'd like to sit here and tell you I answered the call like a "good Christian" with lots of trust and I had this moment with God and it was just great! But in my darkest hour, I felt alone and abandoned. Yes, I had perfected the blame game and none of it pointed at me. Then after much crying out, much wailing like a good student of first century culture, I realized I needed to put up and shut up. It finally occurred  to me that maybe, just maybe God was trying to teach me something? I learned much about myself during this time. I am a doer, I make things happen. I'm a problem solver for others and yet there were no solutions for me. Oh I tried. I used to pride myself on getting any job interview I went on. I could charm the pants off those interviewers, like taking candy from a baby. What's that proverb, "Pride comes before a what? Oh that's right before a fall! And just when I thought I reached bottom, the pit had one of those trap doors like on Scooby Doo and I fell yet again. Finally, I yelled uncle in my wrestling match with God. I fell on my knees, face down on the ground and thanked Him. I thanked Him for the valley of pain that leads to the top of the canyon where all His glory is bestowed. I thanked Him for the walk into the wilderness where I would learn to wait for my daily manna. I thanked Him for softening my heart and teaching me the spiritual discipline of practicing gratitude. I thanked Him for the ability to smile despite my circumstances. I thanked Him that He allowed me to trade my partial heart, the broken heart that I had been living from for a heart that beats ferociously because it is whole. The second half of this verse is quite poetic, it refers to God as the Father of lights. Maybe it's because I'm a woman, but I'm reminded of all the colors in the beautiful rainbow, a wondrous prism of lights. I think of the fabulous facets on the most precious jewels and how many colors pour out of them when the light hits them just so. And in our Father of Lights there is no variation or shadow due to change. Consider the clouds that are moved by the wind or the waves that crash upon the sea going to and fro, they are cast about by the elements. What about us? What are we moved by? Do our emotions rule us? Do our circumstances cause us to react and waiver rather than respond and be steadfast? But our eternal Father, the one in whom we can place our trust, He is immoveable. There is no variation in who He is because He is I AM. So next time you receive the "perfect" gift instead of the "good" one just remember the one who is unshakeable is in control and He will bless you with enough strength to weather the storm as He envelopes you in His love and grace.