Cell Phone Detox

Yesterday morning when I woke the first thing I did is what I normally always do, check the time. I did not check the time on a clock on the wall, not on a clock on my side table, not on my watch. No, I checked the time on my cell phone, except my cell phone was dead. Normally, checking the time would’ve been immediately followed up by checking the weather, checking my email (all 3 accounts), followed by checking Facebook, followed by opening my Kindle also on my cell phone and finally settling in for a good bible study…you guessed it…on my cell phone. So, you can imagine my shock and horror (if I’m honest this is the sweet translation, it was more like anger and severe frustration) as my world was turned upside down by not having this technological device at hand.

If you know me, I am not even attached to my phone (not like some of you out there anyway, you’re probably reading this on your phone!). I am so pro anti-dependence on cell phones it’s not even funny. But, then I realized how even my slightest dependence is actually gravely dependent. I didn’t know how to dress for church for crying out loud, because I didn’t know the temperature outside! I didn’t know if I was running late for church because I didn’t have the time handy. I had to keep running over to check the time on an appliance! I couldn’t put on my favorite playlist of music as I was getting ready for church because my music is… on my cell phone.

After church I went to my carrier, explained the situation and they agreed with my prognosis. Time of death 4:45am. So, they ordered a new device which would be overnighted to me to arrive on…Tuesday. The rep at the store looked up at me in shock. Then she asked, “You aren’t angry?” “You aren’t going to yell at me because it can’t get here sooner?” I smiled and said, “No.” I began to see the opportunity of a “phone fast” and it brought so much excitement! No dings, pings, beeps, chimes, rings, song ringtones, nothing! In real-time I began to understand “Pavlov’s dog theory” the bell was my cell phone and it was causing me to salivate!

So, what did I do with my downtime? I read a book in hardback. I felt the binding in my hands, I made notes in the margins of my pages, I dog-eared the page where I left off. I sat outside in the warmth of the sunshine and meditated in silence feeling the rays of the golden sun washing over me, invigorating my spirit. I played tennis in the middle of the day without my phone ringing, without email buzzing, without interruptions that could wait.

I have had time to write this blog and I have an excuse if you’ve called me and I was unavailable for you!

Yes, I am enjoying my “phone fast”! Now that I have experienced it, I may not return to life as it was. I challenge each of you if you’ve never done it to try it! Once you get over initial withdrawals—symptoms can include: fierce anger, chest tightness, severe frustration—I think the freedom it brings will surprise you! If you dare to try a phone fast, I’d love to hear about it!

Shapeless & Empty

Genesis 1:1-4 “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was without shape and empty, and darkness was over the surface of the watery deep, but the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the water. God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light! God saw that the light was good, so God separated the light from the darkness.”

Before we know God, we are without shape. We are empty. We are in darkness. But, God moves over us. He chooses us. He loves us. He permeates us and He commands, “Let there be light.” And there is light! And because He gives us light, we are good. We are no longer without shape and empty, because we bear His likeness. We are no longer in the dark, because His light is brighter than the sun and casts no shadow. 

I wonder, have you ever felt formless and without shape? Do you wonder if you had shape what you would look like, what you might feel like? Do you ever feel so covered in darkness that you wear it like a heavy cloak, too heavy to remove? Does it crush you from the weight of it? 

Many years ago, I suffered an accident from my own stupidity. I chose to go kayak on the river after many days of rain. The river crested that day, unbeknownst to me. I had never kayaked before and ended up standing vertically under the river. I was victim of a tide pool from much debris piled up underwater from the raging river. My life jacket ties became tangled in all the debris under the water and I could not remove it. I remember fighting with everything I had to get to the top of the water, I could see the light through all of the logs and branches, but it was of no use. I finally resigned my time had come. I quit fighting. Suddenly, peace washed over me and the most overwhelming spirit of love. I asked the Lord to please watch over Jake every day and remind him how much I loved him, how much I missed him and how proud I was of him. I remember a knowing too hard to put into words. Then I woke on the side of the river bank. How I got there and how long I had been under, I have no idea. 

What I do know is I was under the formless and shapeless deep. I know I was surrounded by the darkness of the unknown. I know I could see the light hovering over me. I know I could trust the Lord to take care of my son in my absence. I know I was given another chance. I know today, I get to live helping others. I am able to share my story. I have the humble privilege of hearing your stories too. I get a chance to love and be loved by a man who loves the Lord more than he loves me. I get to watch my son grow into the most amazing young man surrounded by a beautiful woman in his life and a dog who might as well speak he is so human. 

I know the Lord found me in my life, shapeless and empty and filled me with His presence, His love and His grace. You see friends, just the way He created all things in a rhythm that is ordered and beautiful, He brings that same order and beauty to our lives. He sees us and He calls us good.