From Repurposed Find to Life Found! Happy New Year!

So do you have any new insights about your story? I’d like to really touch on something as we wrap up and mauve into the new year today. I hope you’ve found that your story is beautiful, it’s compelling, it’s complex, it’s sweet and it’s yours. What I really want you to see is that our story matters because our stories impact others. Our stories should always point to a bigger story. Our stories should tell of hope, of lessons learned, of community. Our stories should be reflections of loving others well. So often, when we uncover what our thought system is based in, how we perceive or view the world, it’s based in fear. Is that true for you? What if rather than filtering our view of situations and people through this lens of fear, we do something completely radical and filter it through love? 

What if rather than consider how things will impact us first we try to look at it from another’s perspective? What if we can try to be a people that is quick to give others the benefit of the doubt and slow to take offense? What if we could look at challenges in our lives as teaching opportunities and richer experiences rather than seeing things from a victim perspective expecting the worst? The reality is so much of our thought systems are based in fear. We try to shield ourselves from experiences that can actually be great opportunities for us to learn more about ourselves. 

So as we joyously move into next year, as we say goodbye to 2013, as we prepare our goals and “resolutions”, why not remind yourself that there is a light in all of us. We each were given the ability to burn brightly, to be human torches that pass this amazing light from one to another. The question is, how bright is your light? Do you have enough of a spark to share with others? Do you need someone to come along side you and be just the catalyst that you need? That’s what we’ll be discussing starting tomorrow friends….Until then, be grateful for 2013, no matter how challenging or disappointing it was. Every experience allows us the chance to grow. Now lets all set our hearts on fire! Let’s not shrink back from change but move toward it head on, lets all decide that this year we will live! We will live with our hearts ablaze and we will bring others our fire!

From Repurposed Find to Life Found

As we prepare to move into the new year, I thought it’d be fun if we consider what “our story” is now and then what we want it to be. Think of the foundations of a great story: who, what, where, when, why...how maybe....then write yours to this point. 

Who are you? What are you? Where are you? When did you discover you? Why are you who you are? and How are you? Interesting isn’t it...if you’re like me it’ll be challenging. How much thought do we really give to these questions and yet it’s how and why we respond to life. 

I think it’ll be a fun exercise! I bet you learn something about yourself you didn’t know existed or you had long forgotten. If you have a spouse or someone special in your life, even a close family member, share it with them and see what their response is. Maybe encourage them to do the same. Tomorrow, we’ll take a look at the narrative that we’re hoping to grow into for next year. 

From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Merry Christmas! It was nice to take a bit of a break...well the New Year is right around the corner, only a few days away! 

Have you been giving much thought to what that will look like for you? What would you like to see different? What change are you ready to pursue next year?

Remember, we don't want next year to look like a sample from other years of your life, you want it to be better! We want to be intentional about the change, we want to be clear about how and why it should be different. 

Every one of our lives is designed to inspire others, to give others hope, to offer a hand in this journey. Starting in the new year, I will be introducing a new series that will be amazing and allow us the opportunity to meet some extraordinary people who are igniters of passion. I can't wait...

In your quiet time today, begin thinking about the changes you'd like to see in the new year. How will your life change? What reflection will others see when they see you?

Day 20 From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Renewing Our Minds 

&

Heartprints!

Day 19 From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Day 19 From Repurposed Find to Life Found...

Dealing with Short term memory loss. Let me know what you all think about the video vs. reading.

Day 18 From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Day 18

So we’ve been discussing memory and how it shapes us, what we “remember” defines how we color future events sometimes. What about when we learn to let go, when we learn to continue to press in even though that goes against every fiber of what our “better judgement’ tells us. What about when we finally relinquish control of it all? Isn’t there freedom in discovering that? Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying not to be prudent, not to be prepared, not to even just throw all caution to the wind. But, what about not waiting in expectation already predicting the outcome. Consider things we wait for...we wait in traffic, we wait when we’ve applied for a job or for college, we wait for a reply to emails, we wait for our turn to order, we wait in line and more seriously we wait on test results, we wait on our marriage to get better, we wait for a relationship, we wait to get asked out, we wait for the heartache of losing a loved one to be over, we wait....

When we are faced with those situations, do we wait already believing for the worst or do we wait in hopeful expectation? Do we wait already planning for the negative test result, the divorce, another lonely night of no relationship, do we wait thinking there’s no way it could really work out that I’d get in to that college, do we wait believing that we could never get over the heartbreak of losing someone. Do we wait with a countenance about us that most people know just by looking at us that we’re troubled or do we wait with joy because we’re grateful for the experience of it all. 

I think of this time of year, and how much we wait in anticipation of Christmas. We wait to see the look on our loved one’s face when they unwrap their gift, we wait in line to buy the perfect gift, we wait for family to arrive from near and far, we wait for the one wrong thing that’ll be said to erupt into family feuds, we wait for our kids to give us a list for their perfect gift, we wait for our kids to have grateful hearts understanding that this year the perfect gift is just not possible. 

And then, almost without realizing it, we remember....

Jesus came so long ago in the form of a baby, spent 33 years on this earth. It began with Mary waiting expectantly for the birth of this sweet baby. Then Jesus hung out here among us and waited for the time that His ministry would begin, He waited for the time that He would suffer and die for each one of us. He waited for the time that He would choose each one of us to be reconciled to Him. And He is waiting for the time that God would say ok, this is it! Now is the time for your second coming. Now is the time that there will be no more pain, no more heartache, no more longing, no more waiting...

You see friends, as long as we’re here on this earth, there will be things that we long for, that we wait for, that we are expecting. But, let us not forget who goes before us. Let us remember especially at this time, that what we are truly waiting for has not yet arrived. When we are troubled by the things that cause us to wait, rather than allow yourself to remember the lies that would steal the joy of the experience. remember to keep Jesus in front of even the best thing you could possibly be waiting for. Remember to keep Jesus in front of the worst thing you could be waiting for. And when you wait, don’t wait with a heart filled with sadness and despair, but rather be joyful knowing that He waits with you. Remember when Jesus was with the disciples in the boat and the huge storm came and they feared they would drown. Jesus calms the wind and calms the storm. And they say “Who is this?” Friends, storms are a common thing in this life, whatever yours are filled with. Jesus may not always calm your storm but He does promise to be there with you as you go through it. We have the privilege of being on this side of the gospel. The story that is still being written includes you and me as we wait for His triumphant return. So, when we get to wait alongside Him, we don’t have to wonder “Who is this?” we get to proclaim who He is! 

John 16:33

New International Version (NIV)

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Day 17 From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Day 17

So as we’ve been considering memory and how that shapes us for future events, how are you feeling? If I’m honest, I’m a little uncomfortable. I hadn’t realized how much our recollection of events plays such a part in how we receive new experiences. How much there is to let go of so that we are fair, flexible and fluid with new opportunities in our lives. 

Were you ever that kid growing up that was picked last for a team? Or maybe not chosen at all? How about now? Have you ever been in a situation maybe for a job, maybe in relationship, maybe for a new venture of some kind and you just were not what they were looking for? But, I’m wondering if we can begin to look at those situations from a lens of gratitude instead of a lens of rejection? 

Maybe we could begin to color those as opportunities to find out more about ourselves. Maybe we’ve been so busy trying to be what that team, that person, that situation wanted us to be that we forgot to honor who we are? I know it hurts, believe me. Rejection has been a wound that has almost attached itself to me for the better part of my life. As a kid, through 10 year old eyes, my dad wanted to do everything but spend time with me. Now, is that reality? Probably not, but the feelings were very real. 

So what does that look like to be able to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and just grateful for the experience of “trying out” vs. so hurt by not being chosen. How do we communicate vulnerability with honesty and gratitude without coming across as needy? We should after all be allowed to share our thoughts and emotions while we can listen to someone else’s but I’ll tell you it makes people very uncomfortable when you’re that honest. Vulnerability means we allow our hearts to be exposed.  Vulnerability has long been equated with being weak, but friends I’m telling you there is strength in being comfortable enough to share who we truly are, how we truly feel. So, here is the key point, don’t miss it! The difference is being vulnerable and grateful and speaking your thoughts in an honest way should in no way be tied to the person’s response. Did you receive that? 

In other words, if I meet a man I truly enjoy spending time with and want to share that I’d love to spend as much time with him as possible (not see him everyday but when our schedules allow it) or maybe to say that I’d like to see him exclusively, that is vulnerability. However, he may or may not feel the same way but my telling him should not be based on that. Vulnerability requires taking a chance. So rather than play this game of I’ll be on my best behavior and hope that you like me enough, I’d personally rather just tell him how I feel. If he feels the same way great, if not, then my heart and I need to be grateful for the experience and move on down the road. Why waste time trying to figure it out? Now, remember vulnerability makes people uncomfortable. Give people time to adjust, to process, it isn’t a way we are programmed to move typically. But, I really believe there is something beautiful in asking someone how you can honor them in relationship. What do others need from you to honor themselves? 

Consider today what it looks like for you to honor yourself in relationship. What does it look like to be vulnerable without losing who you are? What do you consider when you think of being vulnerable and honest vs coming across as needy and insecure? There is a fine line there friends, but you are worth your weight in gold. Don’t lose yourself because you’re afraid of disappointment or rejection. Like we said yesterday, there are far better things down the road. 

Day 16 From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Day 16

Have you ever said to yourself, “Life can’t get any better than this.” Everything is going so well, you just couldn’t imagine a better day, a better place in your life at that very moment. Everything is lined up just the way you think it should be. And yet, somehow when we’re on the path of really learning to let go and self discovery life actually does get better. Life no longer is bound by the limits of a person, by the limits of a circumstance, by the limits of an emotion. Life gets better because you’ve learned to choose joy. You’ve learned to celebrate despite whatever is going on around you. There’s something magical in that. You give up your surrender to being repurposed by life and you begin to tell life who you are, what you choose. What’s interesting is it seems almost by default things suddenly begin to click. Suddenly life seems to be engaged to you instead of vice versa. 

I watched a great interview recently with Howard Schultz the CEO of Starbucks. He mentioned the word “passion” several times in his interview. So the interviewer asked are you passionate about coffee? He said I’m passionate about the people that make the coffee. True to his story, he really was. You see his dad was a blue collar worker and was laid off when he has hurt and had no health insurance or disability. At that point, this kid growing up in the projects decided he would never do that as an adult. And he honored that….Starbucks was the very first company to offer part time employees health insurance. You see often times I think we get it wrong. I think we believe our passion is what our occupation should be when in actuality we need to use our passion to fuel our occupations. I would almost bet that Mr. Schultz is passionate about how he operates even outside of Starbucks. I believe the success of Starbucks is a byproduct of his passion for treating his employees well. In other words, success wasn’t his goal. Treating his employees fairly was his passion, that passion is what led to his success. You almost have to take the end goal out of it and just let things be. 

Consider the things that weigh you down, what are they? Your finances, your kids choices, your personal life? What would it look like if you could let go of those things? If it’s your finances, what if you could accept that maybe you have to downsize? Maybe instead of striving for more or to keep up you simply live in what is realistic for that point in time. Your kid’s choices, well what if you could just trust that you’ve given them a firm enough foundation that even if they wander a bit, they’ll be back. You can’t be the junior Holy Spirit and guide them every step. How would they ever learn to trust themselves? Your personal life…well what if you could just let it happen organically? What if you could just let go and allow yourself to truly love the sense of anticipation, the butterflies, the wonder of it all. Whatever it is for you, could we believe for one minute, despite how “perfect” things may seem right now, that they could actually get better even if things aren’t on the surface exactly as you want them. 

In your quiet time today, consider what you think are the best things in your life right now and why. Could you be just as happy, just as joyful if they weren’t necessarily operating in your favor? I’m wondering if you could choose to just let go and live without regard to a win or lose mentality? You see friends when we take that out of the formula, there is no equation that equals joy, it’s joyful because we are. Hang in there, tomorrow we’ll be talking about gratitude….

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

New International Version (NIV)

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Day 15 From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Day 15

God has a sense of humor…He tends to teach me as I write. I encountered a situation yesterday where my old mindset, my old memories, totally wanted to come flooding in. I was coloring a new situation with old fabric from the past and it was ugly friends. I realized that I was guarding. I was protecting. I was, as my wise friend put it, trying to “control”. Yikes…You see it’s our defense mechanism. It’s not easily undone. Remember our talk about foundation? It takes time to tweak our thought process. It actually takes practice and discipline. It takes bringing “all thoughts captive to Christ” as scripture tells us to do. I’ll tell you what’s challenging about this and why memories are so powerful. Because, if we have nothing “healthy” to compare our wounded memories to then how do we know how to change the channel? Imagine life for a moment just like that…you’re life is like channel surfing. You don’t like what you’re watching, it’s nothing but old reruns (repurposing marathon ha!) so we go to change the channel but how do we know what else we’d like to watch if this is all we’ve known for so long? We know line by line, the reactions of the other people, our reactions….isn’t that what it’s like when we project? We are scripting the story before we even allow it to unfold! We are transferring emotions, being fortune tellers of the future, if we allow it we’ve got the whole thing mapped out before we even get the chance to decide if we like it or not. So how do we know? 

The truth is we won’t. I know that’s hard for a lot of us but it’s the truth. We won’t know until we dip our toes and then our whole body into the pool of life. We cannot continue to allow our minds, our memories to foretell the future of a situation based on the past. It’s not fair. I wonder how many sweet opportunities I’ve missed out on because I couldn’t let go of old memories. I wonder how many more years I would  have squandered had I not decided to accept that maybe just maybe I was wrong about the way I was framing things. I wonder how many great memories I’ve lost sight of because it’s easier to recall the hurtful things instead? What really helped me was surrounding myself with people that had a different journey from mine. People that had a healthier outlook on the situation. People that sought hard to line up the situation with truth and scripture. You see friends, there are only so many ancient paths that lead to freedom from the thoughts that enslave us. Often times we create our own paths into the forest and thicket because it’s easier to hide out than it is to face things. The unknown can be scary. But, what would it be like to just allow ourselves to be present right now in the moment instead of forecasting the next 1000 moments? That’s a ton of work. What would it look like if we could fire our memory and his sidekick fear from being our tour guide in life and maybe hire someone more qualified like our loving Father.  

You see friends, when we’re sick of watching the reruns of repurposing ourselves and we want to change the channel. It’s ok to surf for a little while. It’s ok if we don’t know exactly the next thing we want to watch or subscribe to. It’s part of the journey of finding out who we really are, our original design. And, when your memory sees something and begins shouting “we’ve already seen this one!” hit the mute button and allow your heart to hold the remote control for a while. Sit back and take it all in. Enjoy the freedom that comes from the adventure of  unchartered territory. Ask others with experience if they can speak into your journey. Remember the highlights of your top ten good memories, not the low lights of your top 5. 

In your quiet time today, consider what memory and fear like to show you as “landmarks” for your life. Can you choose different tent poles that maybe give you more hope for the future? Consider a situation in life where you feel stuck and not sure how to change the channel. Pray for freedom to choose to relinquish control of it, to simply let it play out. Avoid self sabotage by projecting and fortune telling. Don’t hide your heart from experience, press into it courageously…don’t miss another new episode of what could be!

Romans 15:13

English Standard Version (ESV)

13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Day 14 From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Day 14

How do we remember and why do we forget? If I asked you the top 5 things you remember right now, chances are there would be 3 to 2 that are negative memories. You’d be doing well actually to have those odds. Most often, people remember only negative memories. Why is that? Emotional memories have a greater probability of being remembered. Good or bad. It’s just the way our brain works. With new experiences we tend to amend and not protect past memories. So for example, when you’ve first had your heart broken. At that moment, it can seem as though you will never get over that person. You cannot imagine your world without them. But, as the saying goes, time heals all wounds. Soon, you forget because you’ve moved on and their memory gets replaced by the next relationship or the next heart break. In Deuteronomy, God tells the Israelites to never forget. He tells them to remind their children about how He saved them, how He lifted them out of their slavery. I’m wondering, do we recall those triumphs in our lives as easily? When we do, do we tell our families about them? Consider what you share with those around you. Chances are, we’re complaining about something or someone. 

Which leads us to the next challenging question, how about when it comes to other people? What are the top 5 things you remember about them? How are those memories driven? If I had to guess it’s based on your experience with that person. Its based on emotions experienced with them. We have colored them a certain way because of our history with them. Hmmm….so you can imagine as we’re trying to grow, as we’re trying to get back to our original design, we have these obstacles to deal with.  You can see how we might have repurposed ourselves based on our memories, events and people.

So much of the research out there suggests that our memories try to teach us how to solve problems. Thus the mice in a maze theory. They remember the way out after several tries. So when we make a record of something in our memory banks, we’re trying to hold on to it for future use. Without realizing it, or maybe with realizing it, we attach a certain attribute, a behavior, an action to a situation and then remember it being good or bad. So consider the hard parts of your journey. Maybe for you its growing up in a dysfunctional home, being in a hard place in your marriage, maybe lack of trust. We tend to move forward coloring other new situations with the old. We remember and apply these things which aren’t always fair to attach to new situations. 

In your quiet time today consider what would it look like if we could reframe our memories? I’m wondering if we tried to discipline ourselves to be more objective as we move through life experience, could we learn to be more fluid, less judging? The reality is we have all gone through something that has changed us in a way that we could never go back to the person we were before. The question is how has it changed you, for better or for worse? Could you be a light for others to get them through that part of their journey? Can we begin to count even the negatives in our lives as triumphs moving forward? Can we consider them teachers and guides along the way and most of all can we remember to tell about them? 

Day 13 From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Day 13

Today is the last day of resetting. As a point of reference resetting is to return to its original position so that healing can take place. Consider reflecting too. Reflection is what we are bouncing off of that propels us toward something else. Another way of thinking of reflecting and resetting is considering what we're drawn to and what we need to let go of so that we quit repurposing ourselves and return to our original design.

Have you discovered what you're drawn to? What maybe you should be letting go of? Can you identify that hard place in your life where you've held on for so long and maybe need to go back to start?
Can you trust that it's ok to let go? Maybe for you that's letting go of control, maybe letting go of hiding your heart, maybe letting go of writing the ending even before it's begun.

Think about how sacred your original identity is. When a baby is born would you wish for it to be codependent? Would you wish for it to never know the feeling of falling in-love and to guard it's heart? Would you wish for it to never know joy in the midst of sunshine or rain in its life? No, we would wish for him or her to experience life fully, abundantly, filled with passion and desire. How dare we limit ourselves? How dare we decide that we're done drinking of the fullness of abandon and fun? How dare we approach the raging adventurous river of life and make it a calm stream of no surprises?

Friends, it's time. It's time to embrace a new song for your life. It's time to let go of the hum drum of status quo. It's time to quit saying "this is just me" it's who I am, there are limits. Would you tell a newborn he has limits? You are becoming a new creation by shedding the old truths about who you are. By hitting the reset button you get to go back to start. You get the chance to rewrite the story. What will change for you?

When the Spanish Conquistador Cortes brought his men to conquer the Aztec empire, he had them burn their ships when they landed. They had no choice but to fight. Going back was simply no longer part of the equation. I’ve often thought about that and wondered what would the name of my ships be? What would the names of your ships be? Can you see your new world on the horizon and will you be willing to burn your ship when you get there?

In your quiet time today, consider what false beliefs about yourself you are ready to let go of. Consider, what it would mean to burn your ship. As it burns brightly, can you make out the name of your ship?  What part of your story will you rewrite today?

1 Peter 1:6-7

New International Version (NIV)

6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Day 12 From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Day 12

One of the biggest challenges we face in resetting our lives is letting go of expectations. Interestingly, when we look up the definition of expectation it means to have a belief about how successful or good someone or something should be. So here’s the visual, you have a child and you’ve already got expectations for their life. You get married, you have expectations of exactly how it should be. You are born into your family and you have expectations of exactly how family should respond to situations. So how many of you have heard this quote, “A good working definition of expectation is planned disappointment.” Wow. That’s good isn’t it? It really makes you think…and yet if we’re honest, it’s what we do all the time. 

Now, for those of you who are anything like me (deeply flawed, ha!), if you’re any kind of “doer” this is especially challenging for us. We plan everything. We have to do lists, we have schedules, we have goals. If we’re not careful, we begin placing so much on those to do’s that people become a non factor. Did it ever occur to us that they might have their own idea of how things should go too? And what happens when our expectations aren’t met? Disappointment. I’m wondering if we can’t learn to approach things differently? You see friends, when we let go of all the planning in our minds, all the planning on paper, all the planning of other people’s lives— we get to just be present. We learn to enjoy being present. We learn to embrace the full experience of it all. We get to learn about ourselves and others. Situations present and they become opportunities for learning instead of heartfelt discouragement. 

Friends when we are willing to let go of expectations, we also get to release worry. There is no longer this striving for things to be just so. We get to fully watch it unfold like a beautiful flower when its time to bloom. We wouldn’t open a rose before it’s time, let’s not tell life how to do it’s job either. Believe in the plan your Father has for you. He tells us in scripture it’s a plan to proser us not to harm us, to give us a hope and a future. Let’s leave the planning to Him as we wait in hopeful expectancy. That’s one thing we can count on, His love for us. 

In your quiet time today, consider all the expectations you place on situations. For me, it was helpful to take each thing in my life I do this with—son, job, family, etc. and write out all the false expectations I’ve allowed myself to conjure up. Then release each one prayerfully, knowing God’s got it and we don’t have to. Capture what it feels to truly be living in the present. Every sound, every scent, every smile. 

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,”

declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you

and not to harm you, plans to give you hope 

and a future."

Day 11 From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Day 11
So now that we've been considering resetting. Returning to our original positions and risking leaving behind some thought patterns, maybe comfortable surroundings, maybe taking some risks. I wonder what it is you're struggling with? What does that feel like for you? Where do you feel the most vulnerable?

When a new opportunity presents itself, something maybe you've been waiting for, can you receive it with arms wide open or are you still second guessing it? I'll share a little about what that might look like. In all my 41 years on this earth, I have never fallen in-love before. I don't think my heart was prepared to be that vulnerable, that exposed , that open. So recently, I've been working through a lot of reflection and reframing regarding that. Done a lot of journaling and spent an awful lot of time of solitude just wondering about that and how my heart feels about it. I came to the conclusion that I had to be willing to take the chance as CS Lewis wrote so beautifully "to have my heart wrung and broken" sounds awful doesn't it? But the irony is the beauty in falling in-love. Then learning to be present to fully experience of every moment of it. 

So recently, quite by a wonderful surprise, I met someone. He is handsome, sweet and has the most nurturing spirit. Yes, I've had butterflies ever since I met him and those butterflies seem to triple when I actually get to see him and spend time with him. It's interesting that my natural instinct, is to take my heart and hide it. It's what I've always done. But this time, this time I prayerfully have allowed it to be exposed. I have taken it out of the "coffin of selfishness" and I am drinking up the experience of getting to know this man's heart, sharing his dreams, hearing about his journey. It's been so fun! And, we'll just see where it goes...the reality is most people don't know. That's part of relationship, there are no guarantees. But you can't be afraid to venture out and find out. You can't always be in control and have the upper hand. You cannot repurpose a relationship and make it what you want it to be anymore than you should repurpose yourself. Part of the wonder of it is to be fluid, to move as it moves and see where it goes. 

One of my biggest life lessons has been learning to honor those around me by embracing them completely. And to honor myself by remaining true to my identity, so that when we come together you have a beautiful kaleidoscope of life experience, lessons learned along the way, a fresh pair of eyes to show you the world and maybe color it a different way from what you'd known before. 

A great quote I heard recently is "fear can paralyze you or fear can be your driver", I'm choosing to allow it to propel me into the unknown. The adventure awaits! Will you join me?

In your quiet time today, consider what you feel when life propositions you to enjoy a new experience. Do you embrace it and excitedly drink it fully or do you shrink back and reach for your security blanket? Is fear your captor or your driver?

Day 10 From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Day 10

The first step in resetting our lives is actually making the decision to do it, next comes the hard work, envisioning our world differently and trusting in it. We’re releasing something that has been a security blanket, its been comfortable, it’s what we’ve known. Don’t get me wrong friends, it’s not always a terrible toxic thing, but it could be that it isn’t what is best for us. It could be that there’s more waiting but unless we’re willing to let go of where we’re at, we can’t get to where we’re supposed to be. Make sense? David McNitzky was speaking on Abraham and it was so clear the way he explained it. He said Abraham was missing a child, they were barren. In order to receive the destiny that God had for them to make him a father not only to Isaac but of a great nation of people, Abraham had to be willing to let go of the community he knew, the land he was in and go where God directed him to go. You see, where Abraham wasn’t bad. He was comfortable, he was doing ok, but God had more. I wonder if sometimes we don’t get lulled into where we’re at is ok, do we know that we’re ok with ok?

Friends, I feel like sometimes we color Jesus in a safe, sweet, unobtrusive way. I believe Jesus is sweet and safe but I also think he is passionate, strong and warrior like. I believe he birthed desire in each one of us to fulfill a destiny for abundant life in Him. Sometimes I think we can almost feel guilty for wanting more. I’m not talking about more of material things, more money, more power. No friends how about more love, more joy, more hope, maybe more faith in a world that can seem so busy it doesn’t even notice that you exist? You ever feel like that? There are times in my life I can be surrounded by a sea of people and yet I feel the most alone. My heart beats but what does it beat for? What at the very core of my being do I long for? 

Why do we think it’s ok to quench that in us? Why do settle for a life that is at best mediocre? I remember living a life where I was literally simply trying to get by. Oh I had success, I had money, I could buy my son whatever he wanted, within reason of course. I sent him on amazing trips around the world for his tennis. I bought enough clothes to fill up 4 closets, let’s not even talk about the pairs of shoes! And yet, many nights I curled up in my bed and wept…I felt so empty inside and didn’t understand what I was supposed to be doing. I had my relationship with Jesus and my ministries in church but there was more…and I didn’t know what it was. You see, for the longest time, I fulfilled what I thought was expected of me. Be successful in your job, make lots of money, give back. I repurposed my life to fit the example I was taught. But where along the way, do we let our hearts into the equation? 

I had to give my heart an opportunity to have a voice. I had to reframe “desire and passion” in my world. I had to be ok with checking in with my heart. I had to be ok with not always choosing what everyone perceived as safe. I had to be willing to take leaps of faith, to challenge myself and take risks. I had to be ok with knowing that sometimes God likes to see us venture a bit. I imagine him watching us through the kitchen window while we play in the backyard of life. We’re on the monkey bars and maybe we’re gonna try it one handed this time, maybe we’re gonna try to go farther than the last time, maybe we’re gonna really leap this time and He’s tickled as He watches. He’ll be there if we fall, but He loves the light in our eyes that dares to try! 

In your quiet time today, I wonder if you couldn’t consider what desire and passion look like for you? Do you unknowingly associate those words with something forbidden? What is it that your heart beats for? Where are you on the playground of life? Are you sitting and watching where it’s safe or do you dare to take the monkey bars? What is it your heart’s truth? Life is waiting friends and your Father would love to see that spark in your eye and that fire in your heart!

Proverbs 13:12

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire is a tree of life.

From Repurposed Find to Life Found Day 9

Day 9

Do you ever consider your dependence on your smartphone? We can be leaving the house and get half way to our destination and realize we left it and turn all the way back around to get it. We have a hard time living without it. Think of all we store on our phones. I mean, who remembers phone numbers anymore, we just store it under a name in our phone. We store birthdays on the calendar, our appointments and to do list are on the calendar. We store our photos because our phone is also a camera. We store our bank information through mobile apps. We store our bank cards on them now. You don’t even have to carry your wallet or purse around anymore everything’s on your phone. Our social media is on our smart phone to, we connect with people through texting, through messaging, through FB messaging, instagraming, and the list goes on and on. Recently, my niece went through a terrible break up with her boyfriend. Though she’s young, it was her first serious relationship and all their memories were on her phone. Their pictures, their music, their messages back and forth. It was painful for her. It was a storehouse of her world and a big part of that world included this boy. She asked my advice, I told her to delete the contact, but there was so much to delete the best thing for her to do was reset her entire phone. This way she could start over fresh, there would be no reminders of this former world and healing could begin.

Friends thats what it’s like to hit our reset button in life. Interestingly, when reset our phone you’re given the option—reset to a back up on your computer of your phone exactly as it was or reset to factory settings. Resetting to factory settings means everything is lost or should we look at it as everything is gained? You see, I think too often we want to reset and still include some toxic things in our life. Rather than give them up completely, we think we’re strong enough to handle it this time. We think surely we can convince that person to change this time. We just need to be more patient with the situation and it’ll change. Friends, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. If we don’t change the channel, if we don’t start letting go, start reframing our thoughts…start allowing our minds to reset, we cannot expect change that sticks. 

The point is, on our own, it’s us willing the change. The negative to that is the minute we fail, the minute we slip, we condemn ourselves. We believe that we can’t do it, we lose hope. We need to rely on our loving Father. To lean on Him not only for strength but for grace. To remind us daily to shift our thinking. I know for me, in my world something good happening was a very uncomfortable experience. I would wait for the bottom to fall out. Then I wondered, would I respond that way if I had a mindset of gratitude? If I were just grateful for the good experience what would that look like? Could I be present in the moment, drinking up the fullness of it or would I continue to question it and miss the gift of the experience? 

In your quiet time today, consider what it would look like for you to hit the reset button. Are you ready to be restored to your “factory settings” or are you going to try to reset with a back up in place. Consider what the hardest thing is to give up as your being “reset” is it a person, a substance, a fear? 

Hebrews 12:1

New International Version (NIV)

12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

From Repurposed Find to Life Found Day 8

So now that we've had time to reflect, what we're bouncing off of, what we tend to propel toward, let's look at how we hit the reset button. Interestingly enough, here's how Merriam Webster defines reset:


www.merriam-webster.com/.../reset
to move (something) back to an original place or position. : to put back in the correct position for healing.

Again, the definition begs us to resurrect the notion that we repurpose ourselves. We move out of our original place or position and we must be put back to our correct position for healing. In our time of reflection, hopefully we began to notice some patterns, some false belief systems, some opportunities to change the channel. Hopefully, there is an awareness of what is just a little off from being lined up in its intended position.

I think one of the first steps to resetting is to be willing to have ourselves placed in our original position. Have you ever broken a finger? A finger isn't like an arm where if you don't have it set correctly it's not that huge of a deal. In fact, it'll remain functional, although limited. It'll be crooked and maybe ache a little at first, but over time you won't even remember it's like that unless the finger is challenged to perform like a healthy finger. Ah...are you hearing this friends? Consider the discomfort in having to reset a broken bone, the time it takes to be in a cast, the healing that must take place. Who has time for that? We are busy, we are doers, we just need to get over it.

Sometimes in life, we are affected by experiences that can wound us. If we're not willing to receive proper healing, not willing to put the time in for us to be reset, we will not be 100 percent in that area of our life. We can make it through enough to get by, maybe fool people around us, maybe even fool ourselves. But, when that wound gets triggered by an occurrence that challenges the whole ness of it, it can be very telling. For some we can experience shame, wondering why we're dealing with that all over again. For some, we can revert back into the pattern, believing that's who we are anyway. Have you ever told yourself that? "It's just the way I am." Unless that lines up with God's truth about you friends, think again. 

So I'm wondering if we can't decide today to review the past 7 days of reflection. Let's pray that we have an open heart to receive and ears to hear, and when you're ready reach for that reset button. 

In your quiet time today, make a list of the patterns, the places in your heart, the channels you're ready to change. Then pray for strength to hit the reset button, it's time to journey ahead friends, freedom waits.

Isaiah 61:1

New International Version (NIV)

The Year of the Lord’s Favor

61 

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

    because the Lord has anointed me

    to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

    to proclaim freedom for the captives

    and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]

From Repurposed Find to Life Found Day 7

Day 7

This is the last day of “reflecting” we’ll be moving into resetting next and what that might look like. You ever notice how central the heart is to scripture? So many scriptures about the heart, in Mathew 6:21 it states “For where your treasure is, there will be your heart also.” Proverbs 3:5 tells us to “trust in the Lord with all our heart, and lean not unto our own understanding;”. Proverbs 23:26 says “My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways;” The heart is so central to who we are, God even put our heart in the center of our body. Our hearts are the seat of our emotions. Part of our path to finding our true selves and not living repurposed lives is to love with all our hearts, to be vulnerable.

CS Lewis wrote in The Four Loves:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

Friends, I have had my heart wrung and broken, because of that I have also lived the opposite extreme. I have built walls like a fortress for one around this heart of mine.  I have kept myself busy with much so that I wouldn’t be so distracted by relationship.  I have not allowed myself to be vulnerable. If I’m honest, I thought being vulnerable was the equivalent of being weak…if I let the walls of my fortress down, I will be hurt. So, I locked it up in my coffin of selfishness, where it would not be broken, it was impenetrable and irredeemable. Read that last part again, its so important—it would be impenetrable and irredeemable.

When we keep our hearts safely hidden and safe in our fortress for one, when we keep it from others who might break it, we’re also keeping it from God.

It has taken me much discipline, self realization and constant evolution to catch myself so I don’t grab for that big iron door to be shut to the fortress. You see, I believe the walls start being erected as a child. The first time we’re deeply wounded, the first time our heart is broken, the first time we’ve been vulnerable and in exchange hurt, we lay the first brick to our fortress. With each life experience, with each heartbreak the walls get higher and higher. It took a lot of courage to agree with God that if I want to let him in, I must let in others too. Believe me, that wasn’t something agreed upon right away. I fought and wrestled with the thought. I still do sometimes. 

I learned the power of vulnerability. Which sounds completely opposite of what it means. The definition of being vulnerable is to be easily hurt or attacked physically, mentally or emotionally. So, according to that definition, I leave myself open to receiving one of those terrible things pretty readily. What’s so interesting to me is if we’re vulnerable, if we allow our heart to be fully engaged, we also can easily receive love, joy, and hope. Can you imagine that being the “official” definition? Everyone would want to be vulnerable then. We wouldn’t equate it with harm. Vulnerability gives us the chance to become intimate with our hearts and the hearts of others. Vulnerability teaches us its ok to honor ourselves by being honest about what our feelings are. Moreover, it’s ok to honor other’s feelings too. We learn to be more fluid in such a way that it allows for our experiences and the experiences of those around us. It teaches us not to take offense but to ask about why people have the opinion they do. It allows us to connect at a heart level without fear of losing ourselves or our hearts. 

Most of all, vulnerability is the opportunity for our hearts to be redeemed. When I was a kid, if I fell down or hurt myself, I go to my mom or dad. I’d show them the hurt and they’d carefully scoop me up, clean up my wound, put medicine on it maybe a bandaid, then reassure me it was going to be ok. Friends, when our hearts get broken, rather than seal it under lock and key, show it to your Father. Consider this, if our hearts our broken and we lock it up, there is a critically wounded heart locked away. It has not been allowed care and it has not been allowed proper healing. So, when and if it’s allowed out of the “selfish coffin” guess what you have? A wounded heart that’s now vulnerable. That’s what makes the chances of being broken again so likely. It’s still hurt, still needs healing. When it’s redeemed, healed and made new, our hearts are whole. And take heart, Jesus tells us He will guard and protect it. In Phillipians 4:7 Paul writes, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Sounds like in a way, we get our fortress back but Jesus is standing at the door so we don’t have to. 

In your quiet time today, consider what feelings arise when you consider being vulnerable. What does your heart and mind equate that with? Is your heart free or have you built a fortress around it that you yourself guard? Have you locked your heart away in a coffin of selfishness? Strong words but if we want to take our heart back, if we want redemption, we have to be willing to allow the healing to begin. Tomorrow friends, we’ll learn to start hitting the reset button...

Philippians 4:7

New Living Translation (NLT)

7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

From Repurposed Find to Life Found Day 6

Day 6

Today I had the pleasure of serving with my work family at Child Safe. For those of you who don’t know what Child Safe does they’re angels to so many every day. You see, when a child is abused or there is suspected abuse they can be brought here and all the services needed are under one roof. It saves the child the pain of reliving the story over and over and the staff there does an amazing job of creating a comforting soothing environment during what can be a horrific event. It was very humbling to say the least, the impact that is made and the message sent during that harrowing time can make all the difference in their lives. They are a shelter from the massive storm that is disrupting these beautiful lives. Child Safe is a haven during a volatile time when all their trust is shaken. 

It reminded me of our innocence that is ravaged when our hearts are broken, when our idea of trust is stolen from us, when our once seemingly “normal” worlds are rocked and we’re left scratching our heads trying to figure out what anything means anymore. 

As a victim of abuse, I speak from experience. When it happened to me as a kid, I didn’t understand why. Reflecting back, I believed it was my fault. In fact, I know that is when my “orphan heart” was first birthed. It’s like falling down the rabbit hole, and you’re not certain about the world you’ve just been surrounded by. You struggle to make sense of things. Without having that canopy of security and love, you begin to doubt people. You’re not sure who you can really trust. What’s strange is it seems your walls go up with people that seem to be really sincere and yet it’s easier to let people in that you know are just as bad as those that hurt you originally. You see friends, there’s a familiarity that comes with the territory. We begin to accept that part of our story as part of who we are not just unfortunate events in our lives. We begin to believe that’s all we were created for. We begin to repurpose our lives. We agree with the hurt and the wound and make it fit into our lives like trying on clothes that are ill fitting but we buy them anyway. 

Have you ever done that friends? Is there an event in your life that has so deeply disturbed you that you’ve almost made a vow without realizing it? For example, “I can never trust anyone with my heart.” “No man can be trusted.” “I will not allow myself to be hurt like that again.” “I will not be rejected so I will fulfill other’s expectations.” Without realizing it, these vows carry over into the rest of our lives. They can begin innocently enough due to the initial experience but with each experience following, they almost become our filters for how we’ll respond to situations. That’s what we’re reflecting about today, vows that we’ve allowed to become part of who we are. 

In your quiet time today, consider some of the events in your life that have led you to make a vow, good or bad. Think about those vows and what they tell you to believe about certain experiences in your life. Since we’ve begun this time of reflection, has it become easier to spot these things? When you’re ready journal what these vows are and try to trace them back to their experience of origin. Ask Jesus to help you break those vows and begin reshaping your belief system. 

James 5:12

New Living Translation (NLT)

12 But most of all, my brothers and sisters, never take an oath, by heaven or earth or anything else. Just say a simple yes or no, so that you will not sin and be condemned.

From Repurposed Find to Life Found Day 5

Day 5 

One of the most pivotal times in my healing was facing my misperceptions about God and who He is and what He is in my life. Growing up I think I saw God as this sort of Wizard of Oz character. He sort of functioned behind this big curtain and enjoyed making things happen, both good and bad. But in my view, the good things were only for the “good” people. And as far as I was concerned that wasn’t me. So I waited for God to sort of do his thing. I waited for him to smite me when he was angry. I waited for him to make life hard for me since I wasn’t on the “right path”. I waited for him to wipe me off the face of the earth at a young age because I didn’t matter. Oh, but he wouldn’t just take me at a young age, he would wait for things to be going really well so it would really be disturbing. Sad isn’t it? But that was my reality for a very long time. Then I feel like I accepted Jesus as my Savior but didn’t really have relationship with Him. I still sort of felt like I “owed” Him, as if He really needed me to do anything for Him. 

Honestly, I didn’t understand the whole relationship thing with Jesus. I remember asking the questions like, “If Jesus really loved me how could He let this happen to me?” “If He is my Father and cares why did He let my marriage fail?” “Why couldn’t He spare me from that event that was so utterly painful?” How many of us have asked these questions and more. How many of us have lost a loved one to some terrible illness or lost someone at a young age to a tragedy? How many of us can say, if we’re honest, that we felt uncertain even abandoned maybe?

But, I’m wondering if maybe when we decide to really begin a relationship with Jesus that we’re not asking the wrong questions? I’m wondering if maybe our perspective about who He is, isn’t just a bit skewed? I mean, how many of us really give ice cream to our kids for breakfast, lunch and dinner? That’s what they would ask us for over things that are healthy for them right? You see friends, just as my vision of who God was at a young age was distorted, I think our way of thinking about how He moves can be a bit off as well. Perhaps we could begin by maybe reframing what we ask when things happen. I’m wondering if maybe we couldn’t ask “what are you trying to teach me through this?” “what can I share with others about this experience?” “what are you wanting me to let go of?” “what do you really want me to see with the eyes of my heart and not the physical eyes on my head?” It changes the perspective doesn’t it? 

I think sometimes we allow the wounds we discussed in Day 4 to sort of mistranslate how we receive things, how we receive people, how we perceive what is happening to us at any given moment in our lives. The reality is, God has probably been trying to have a real, deep, sweet relationship with you for a long time, but we have constructed road blocks that keep Him confined to only the places we’re willing to allow Him entry. I liken it to being an athlete, we are trained to be disciplined. We are trained to move through the pain. To deal with it, to just suck it up. We’re taught to ignore what ails us, as if there’s some valiance in finishing the race with scars and poorly healed broken parts. There is something to being able to admit we are wounded. To accept that things right now just aren’t ok. Friends, let’s not settle for just ok. Let’s not allow broken pieces of us to heal without proper attention and care. Let’s trust God with our wounds like the great physician He is. He would never tell us to “suck it up” and get back on the battlefield of life, just break off the arrow and push through. No, He would lovingly take us in His arms. Remove the arrow gently and then bind up our broken hearts. 

In your quiet time today, consider your view of God. Think about what you believe about Him. Have you allowed yourself to really feel the weight of your wounds and given them proper time to heal? Do you push yourself to get back into life without regard to how these situations repurpose our lives? Will you allow Jesus to remove some of the arrows that have wounded your heart? Most of all, will you allow Him to love you as he heals those places? 

Psalm 86

A prayer of David.

1 

Bend down, O Lord, and hear my prayer;

    answer me, for I need your help.

From Repurposed Find to Life Found Day 4

Day 4

So far, we’ve reflected about what we allow ourselves to “reflect” off of, what our identity is, what our foundation is made up of, today we’ll consider what false truths we’ve allowed to permeate that foundation. Hear something long enough and we begin to accept it as true, almost as fact. Sadly, we can begin to live into that. We allow others to tell us who we are, we allow life to tell us who we are, we allow our circumstances to tell us who we are. But, could we possibly believe for one minute that those negative words aren’t true? That we were meant for so much more. What’s mind blowing is our belief systems begin so young. 

See if you can wrap your brain around this visual. When we’re born, we’re given a set of empty book shelves. Our life experiences with our families, our friends, disappointments, triumphs, highs and lows are all placed on this book shelf. Humor me for a minute and really grab onto that. Close your eyes and envision your bookshelves. What titles do you see? Do you have a book of joy, a book of confidence, a book of humbleness, a book of servitude, maybe a book of giving? Looking further, what other title do you see? At one point in my life, my books were titled lack, unworthy, insecure, stupid, low expectations, cannot finish anything, ugly, fat, invisible, not wife material. Honestly, I could go on. It was hard for me to see “good” titles littered among that trash. I realized that I had believed so many things about me that simply weren’t true. In my quiet time, I began to allow my memories to bring forth the revelation of where those things began. I asked Jesus to walk with me through that, it can be really painful friends. But, if you know He is walking through it with you, it makes it a little more palatable.

 So, one of the first instances was a memory from my freshman year of high school. I was asked by a senior to go to the prom. I was so excited! I felt so honored by this guy. My mom and I went to the fabric store and picked the most beautiful white satin fabric. Then we picked the pattern for the dress. It was so beautiful. It was a heart shaped strapless dress with a drop waist and ruffles. My mom worked tirelessly on that dress to have it finished by the prom. Every time I tried it on, I felt like a princess. I was chosen. I would twirl and imagine dancing with this guy at the prom. So magical… Well this guy happened to be on the baseball team and we were really good as a team. There was a game that night so he picked me up after. When he arrived to pick me up, I opened the door so excited to see him. I stood there, hair done, make up perfect, my princess dress on….He said it was late so we would just go to dinner and not go to the prom. He never complemented me. I felt so discounted. The thoughts of me looking beautiful and radiant soon turned to I must not be pretty enough. I must not have chosen the right dress. Maybe I should have done my hair differently. I began quickly re-wallpapering my mind with these false truths about me. And I bought every one, hook, line and sinker. It gets better…after dinner he brought me home. He knew I had friends on the tennis team that were older and had been invited to a post prom party. So he said, “I know you were invited to the same party, if you’re there and I don’t say hi its because I’m having too good of a time.” Wow. I remember those words verbatim like it was yesterday. It’s been 26 years!

 So friends, can you see how these events can define us. If I look at that memory and study it, many of my life choices with other guys were set up by that one memory. I bought into the lie that I’m not pretty enough, that I don’t deserve to be honored, that I’m not good enough to experience the great dances in life. I should take what I can get, because I’m just not special enough. That still brings tears to my eyes, but not because it still hurts, it makes me sad that I truly subscribed to that standard for my life for so long. After walking through that memory, I asked Jesus to remind me what the truth is about me. I looked up scriptures of affirmation. Who I am because of who He is. I am a princess because I am a daughter of the King. I decided to make a list of what my Father would want for my life in a potential suitor. Not on my list, not in my life. It takes intention and time to read our life backwards, but I promise it’s worth it. Time to clean out your bookshelves friends, new titles and adventures await. 

In your quiet time today, imagine your bookshelves. What titles do you see? What books is it time to get rid of and replace with better titles? Can you ask Jesus to walk through some of your memories with you? What are the false beliefs you adopted and what is the truth about who you are instead? Consider what life choices you’ve possibly made because of the lies and how you can begin to choose a different path based on truth. 

Deuteronomy 7:6

The Message (MSG)

6 Do this because you are a people set apart as holy to God, your God. God, your God, chose you out of all the people on Earth for himself as a cherished, personal treasure.