Know Thyself

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

-Steve Jobs

Most of my life, I’ve felt different. I was the kid at 5 on her first day of kindergarten walked into the classroom and upon meeting the teacher, advised her I was sick and was on antibiotics. I explained to her she needed to remember to give it to me twice during the day and that it needed to be refrigerated. Always an odd child. I also remember at the age of 8 writing a letter to my brother away at college that all I wanted was for us to have a closer relationship. I was concerned over these things at as a young child. I remember gathering children on the playground (when I was a child myself) and trying to inspire them to not follow the bullies! They could play whatever they wanted for crying out loud and did not have to succumb to the strong personalities that lingered on the monkey bars. 

As a young adult in the workplace, I remember finding myself in the office of the vice president or higher discussing the inefficiencies I saw on the workflow and how things could be much improved. I always enjoyed problem solving. I wasn’t the most popular or go to fun person but I was very efficient and created visions and goals expecting others to follow behind me as we charged toward success. 

I’ve always had a passion for pushing others beyond their comfort zones. When I look at others, I see more. Sometimes more than they’ve ever dreamed of seeing in themselves. When I’m placed in situations, I search for the efficient way, the best way, yielding the best results—how we get there makes no difference to me as long as it happens. 

I’ve been in a reflective mode lately. I realized that my personality is hard. My personality is not for the faint of heart and my personality struggles to get out of go mode. Go mode is fun for me. So, naturally, I wanted to learn more. I love learning and being challenged intellectually. As I dug further into my reading, I came across one of those personality tests. Very thorough, very lengthy and very pricey! But, I wanted to know. Out of the Meyers Briggs 16 personality types, I am an ENTJ. ENTJ’s only make up 3% of the entire population and women less than 1.5% of the population. I am a rare bird! 

As I read the description, I let out a huge sigh. It was spot on. My ENTJ counterparts and I are the commanders of the personality world. We want to reach our goals, cast the vision and bring others along to reach our pinnacle. We tend to forget that not everyone wants to come along and certainly not at our pace. ENTJ’s love debate, intellectual stimulation and will size you up based on how well you engage in this arena with us. 

We are doers and love the challenge of an obstacle in our way. We are problem solvers and can communicate solutions quite effectively. Though we have a number of wonderful qualities, we also have a down side. We are not the most thoughtful people. In fact, it’s quite easy for us to detach emotionally especially when we’re trying to get things done. Where other types might be hurt in debate or confrontation, ENTJ’s thrive in it. Personally, I feel it’s how progress is made. It’s dialogue. You must be courageously vulnerable to wage a discussion because we love to ask deep meaningful questions. Often times we are introspective, but not everyone appreciates having a mirror held up in front of them. 

As I considered all I had learned about myself through this research. It gave me great pause. It helped me to understand the hows and whys of who I am but also gave me an awareness of others that didn’t exist before. I don’t want to make others uncomfortable with my curiosity and goal seeking. I want others to be just as comfortable in their skin as I am in mine. I suppose the most comforting thing is knowing this is who I am. So often, people would tell me to “lighten up” and “don’t take things so seriously”. Turns out this is me. The good, the bad and the ugly. I am a leader. I am goal oriented. I seek to make things better. I seek to make others better. I believe in being the best version of ourselves that we can be. So, while it might serve me well to take a course in patience, while I might learn to not count on being the most popular in the office, while I may be considered least loving, I will sacrifice all I can for my team to succeed. I will strive everyday for us to be successful. I will see the best in you and tell you what I see. I will know myself.