I grew up practicing a very legalistic religion. My view back then was that God only loves us when we're obedient. Self condemnation came very easy to me, if I'm honest, it's very easy to open that door of thought even today. When I was covered in sin, in my mind it seemed every day, I ran from church and I ran from God. In my parent's house that was a difficult thing to do. We had pictures of Jesus in every room. They weren't those loving pictures you see of Him with small children or holding a sinner's face in His hands, they were the pictures of Him with the crown of thorns on his head bleeding profusely that I singlehandedly put there. In other pictures He had a very disappointed look on his face, just a broken heart, and of course I did that too. That's how I remember Jesus thinking of me. When I was 17, I left home. I was so messed up and on a one way track to hell, I figured I'd spare my family the pain and heartache of my continued sin. They'd be better off without me. I was alone. I was a mess. I was just waiting for God to strike me and send me to my judgement, after all it's what I deserved. You see friend, I had never met grace. I had never read my bible to see the countless stories in Genesis, a book I surely would have fit in quite nicely. Had someone told me about Abraham, who even after God made promises to him, still ran, still lied, still lacked faith. Had I been introduced to King David, a man after God's own heart, who also sinned by committing adultery and murder, and yet still so loved by the Father. Had I read about Peter, who walked with Jesus, and yet denied Him tree times when it counted, I would have seen the love and forgiveness poured out on him. Had I known grace, I would have seen these stories and so many more of God's unyielding redemption. You see, God seems to really love messed up people who lack because He knows that He is the one who makes us whole. Haven't we cheapened grace enough? We ask for grace when we miss an appointment, we use grace to describe beauty. Grace is so much bigger than that. It's because of grace that we are loved despite our sinfulness. It's because of grace that while we were yet sinners Christ came and died for us. And the whole obedience thing? Well the obedience follows the love and forgiveness that washes over us following us receiving the grace of our Father. There is nothing we have to do to earn His love. Nothing. We can be swimming in sin and ask for grace with a repentful heart and He gives us a double portion gladly. We must also be careful not to judge one another but to extend that grace to others too. Who knows, that guy covered in tats could be a modern day Gideon. That girl who just seems to continuously make poor choices, a modern day Mary Magdalene. Who knows? Only God knows our heart so we should not judge based on outward appearance alone. After all it's Jesus who said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: "I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Looking at the twelve disciples, they were rough. He didn't choose twelve Pharisees or Saducees or even the Essenes who set themselves apart. He chose common everyday sinners who didn't have it all together. If we claim to be on Jesus's team and wear the name Christian, than we should reflect His love, His acceptance, His grace. And when we think, this time we've done too much, we've strayed too far, we've been gone far too long--call out to Him, His grace is immeasurable, His love unyielding and His heart is wide open.
"And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.
For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth
came through Jesus Christ."
John 1:15-17
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