Every Perfect Gift...

James 1:17

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."

This scripture is so often misquoted. I usually here it as "every good and perfect gift is from above" and somehow we paint God as one that only rains down good things. But if you look at the scripture, there are two separate things James is speaking about here. He says every good gift and every perfect gift is from above. Good we get, who doesn't want to receive good gifts? Every perfect gift, hmmm…this one gives me pause. Every perfect gift according to what God knows is perfect for us at this time. It was perfect for the Israelites to feed on manna, it was perfect for God to ask Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, it was perfect for Jesus to go to the cross for us. Just as it is perfect for those with the bad report from the doctor, perfect for us to be out of work, perfect for us to have to rely on Him and nothing else. You see good, good we like. We have both arms extended wide open to catch the good gifts. Prosperity, yes! Kids excelling in school, awesome! Job promotion, thank you God! But is it harder for us to thank Him when the gifts are just well…perfect? When the road is hard do we look to the heavens and bless God? When we have been passed over in the last 4 jobs getting down to the final 2 but consistently come up short, do we thank Him? When we have nothing left but a pocketful of hope, do we sing His praises? The reality is, I've had many a pity party and unfortunately many of you were invited. In my victim mentality, if I'm honest, I shook my head at God. I'd like to sit here and tell you I answered the call like a "good Christian" with lots of trust and I had this moment with God and it was just great! But in my darkest hour, I felt alone and abandoned. Yes, I had perfected the blame game and none of it pointed at me. Then after much crying out, much wailing like a good student of first century culture, I realized I needed to put up and shut up. It finally occurred  to me that maybe, just maybe God was trying to teach me something? I learned much about myself during this time. I am a doer, I make things happen. I'm a problem solver for others and yet there were no solutions for me. Oh I tried. I used to pride myself on getting any job interview I went on. I could charm the pants off those interviewers, like taking candy from a baby. What's that proverb, "Pride comes before a what? Oh that's right before a fall! And just when I thought I reached bottom, the pit had one of those trap doors like on Scooby Doo and I fell yet again. Finally, I yelled uncle in my wrestling match with God. I fell on my knees, face down on the ground and thanked Him. I thanked Him for the valley of pain that leads to the top of the canyon where all His glory is bestowed. I thanked Him for the walk into the wilderness where I would learn to wait for my daily manna. I thanked Him for softening my heart and teaching me the spiritual discipline of practicing gratitude. I thanked Him for the ability to smile despite my circumstances. I thanked Him that He allowed me to trade my partial heart, the broken heart that I had been living from for a heart that beats ferociously because it is whole. The second half of this verse is quite poetic, it refers to God as the Father of lights. Maybe it's because I'm a woman, but I'm reminded of all the colors in the beautiful rainbow, a wondrous prism of lights. I think of the fabulous facets on the most precious jewels and how many colors pour out of them when the light hits them just so. And in our Father of Lights there is no variation or shadow due to change. Consider the clouds that are moved by the wind or the waves that crash upon the sea going to and fro, they are cast about by the elements. What about us? What are we moved by? Do our emotions rule us? Do our circumstances cause us to react and waiver rather than respond and be steadfast? But our eternal Father, the one in whom we can place our trust, He is immoveable. There is no variation in who He is because He is I AM. So next time you receive the "perfect" gift instead of the "good" one just remember the one who is unshakeable is in control and He will bless you with enough strength to weather the storm as He envelopes you in His love and grace.