Getting to the heart of trust...

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

It takes courage to be vulnerable, especially after you've been hurt. It takes courage to trust. I think we make our lives so much smaller than God ever intended. Not that it's about drawing attention to ourselves or not being humble. Living into the fullness of ourselves is about following our call, discovering our gifting, pursuing our passions. We place such tight parameters around our worlds. Everyday we have the opportunity to unwrap new truths about ourselves, beautiful realities, but I think we miss them. I think it's easier to point out the extra inches on our hips, the task we didn't get around to, the mistake we made at work. God wants you to remember your smile that lit up the room today, the encouraging word you spoke to someone who needed it, the listening ear you gave to the cashier at the grocery store. You see, being vulnerable means we don't feel the need to hide our heart for fear of someone abusing it. Being vulnerable means that you're willing to share with others your dreams, your loves, your thoughts. Vulnerability means it's ok to be honest with others while still honoring them and not losing yourself. Being vulnerable means we trust God because we know it's ok to be vulnerable with Him. 

So, I'll ask you that question, can you be vulnerable with God? I'll never forget sitting at a women's retreat years ago when I was first asked that question. My answer then and quite honestly  up until this year was. no. I would tell God what I wanted Him to hear and the way I thought He wanted to hear it. I knew He loved me, but deep down I still wanted to control my own life. The reason I had such a hard time relinquishing control is that I truly didn't believe that He was for me. If I'm completely transparent, I have lived waiting for the other shoe to drop. Interesting story behind that saying but that's for another post…One of the scariest emotions for me is contentment, happiness, joy. Why you ask? Because the lie I believed is the minute you get too comfortable in something good happening, disaster strikes. So many years were wasted on trying to control, trying to make things just so, trying to get ahead of outcomes for fear of what the outcome would be. All the while, going to church, reading my bible, being in ministry. Living from an untrusting heart. And if you are like me, with control issues, we don't just do it with God we do it with everyone else in our lives too. 

What's really scary is when God reveals this to you about yourself and you start noticing it. A situation arises and you go into control mode. I'll just call this person and make that happen, I'll send this email and take care of it, I'll just move this here and cancel that there so that then this works in that spot…the list goes on and on. Hello…um..where does God come in? How about going to God in prayer, not that He isn't already aware…and asking for what you need?  Wouldn't life be much more enjoyable if we could just surrender and believe what scripture says.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you." Says the Lord, "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." 

So, I'm wondering what it would look like for each one of us to live from a more transparent heart…Would there be things you no longer do in your life because the truth is you really don't like doing it but it pleased someone else? Would it mean that you finally begin to live more freely allowing God to shape your life instead of you creating the outcome? Would you unearth the dream you buried so long ago because it just wasn't practical to pursue it? We owe it to ourselves to have an introduction to our hearts. A heart that knows at this meeting, it's safe to speak freely. For many of us, it'll be like meeting someone for the very first time where we discover longings that have been locked away for far too long. Friends, as I look back at my life, I played conductor for a long time. I knew just when the strings were to play, when the woodwinds should begin, when the brass should be cued, and finally the percussion. I stood on my podium day after day, minute after minute, till I was completely exhausted. Little did I know, I knew nothing about creating music or conducting a symphony and God's timing, well it's always right on cue with what we need in our life every day. You see He wrote your symphony. Our job is to sit back and enjoy the beautiful melody that comes when our Grand Maestro takes his place at the front of our lives.