Restoration & Forgiveness

Ephesians 4:31-32

³¹ Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. ³² Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

First of all, thank you for the overwhelming support and sweetness many of you have poured out given my blog yesterday. Community is a beautiful thing, especially for a woman who made an art of hiding out and pushing through the muddy parts of her life on her own. Can you relate to that? When things get really messy, do you allow yourself to be vulnerable and let people in? Or do you tend to "hide out" and you think you're just handling things on your own, but really the enemy wants you alone. Then he has your full attention and can continue using his mental barrage of weaponry. I hadn't realized this till I was in the thick of my pit. It took everything I had to go to church that Sunday morning. I gathered myself, licked my wounds and got there. I remember sitting with Linda, my loving mentor, my rabbi, and telling her I just feel so alone. I felt abandoned by God and by others. I did a good job of disappearing, of course I felt alone. She reminded me I hear from God well, let's see what He has to say about it. So, I closed my eyes and in frustration said, "Linda, all I see is a cave and a big rock in front and Jesus is asking me to come out and I'm being stubborn and don't want to." See, that doesn't even make sense! Disappointed and still uncertain we went in to the sanctuary, worship was beginning.

It felt so hard to sing and praise God, I was so sad. Yet, during the worship set, one of our worship pastors began speaking a word of encouragement that seemed tailored just for me. Then it was time for the teaching. We always stand to recite the Word together. The teaching was about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead and beckoning him out of his tomb in the cave, moving the rock! Are you kidding me? I'm telling y'all I can't make this stuff up! I began to tear up knowing God had heard my cries. He was acknowledging me and my pain and He was asking me to rise up. The key point in that teaching that was such a revelation for me was Scott emphasizing that Lazarus needed the community to remove his grave clothes once He was brought back to life. Isn't that interesting? It's also practical, those grave clothes can be intensely confining. We need community to help us peel the layers. We need community to help remove the rock blocking our grave. We need Jesus to rise up and stand for us and say no more, this is my child and I speak life!

I believe in order for us to really receive that invitation another key piece is forgiveness. One of the hardest things in our flesh, is to forgive those that have seriously wronged us. There's a mental solo conversation in my head that questions how someone could be so mean, so heartless, so intentional about hurting us. The wound feels so fresh, so raw, so deep. Unforgiveness can leave us in a place where we actually glorify being a victim. Sadly, we almost sensationalize the act or the hurt by reliving it over and over. We feed the very monster we're trying to get rid of. I think of Mathew West's song "Forgiveness". He wrote that song after meeting a woman whose daughter was killed by a drunk driver. It was one of the darkest places in her life. She couldn't get out of bed, she was miserable. She realized God was asking her to forgive this man. As she walked through that with God, she visited this man in prison. In turn, he asked for forgiveness from God. He went to the chapel in the prison and gave His life to God there. This man was handed a 22 year sentence, He ended up being released after serving 11. Sometimes I think we somehow forget what Jesus did for us to forgive the sins of all, not just who we determine as judges should be forgiven. So I ask you, can you pray to forgive the husband or wife who cheated? Can you forgive your parent who was an addict? Can you forgive your rapist? Can you forgive the person who murdered a family member? The one who murdered your spirit? Can you forgive yourself?  Just like Mathew West's song says "tell me how to love the unloveable, to reach the unreachable, see what your mercy sees and give what you gave to me". That's forgiveness friends and it leads to freedom.