Day 4
So far, we’ve reflected about what we allow ourselves to “reflect” off of, what our identity is, what our foundation is made up of, today we’ll consider what false truths we’ve allowed to permeate that foundation. Hear something long enough and we begin to accept it as true, almost as fact. Sadly, we can begin to live into that. We allow others to tell us who we are, we allow life to tell us who we are, we allow our circumstances to tell us who we are. But, could we possibly believe for one minute that those negative words aren’t true? That we were meant for so much more. What’s mind blowing is our belief systems begin so young.
See if you can wrap your brain around this visual. When we’re born, we’re given a set of empty book shelves. Our life experiences with our families, our friends, disappointments, triumphs, highs and lows are all placed on this book shelf. Humor me for a minute and really grab onto that. Close your eyes and envision your bookshelves. What titles do you see? Do you have a book of joy, a book of confidence, a book of humbleness, a book of servitude, maybe a book of giving? Looking further, what other title do you see? At one point in my life, my books were titled lack, unworthy, insecure, stupid, low expectations, cannot finish anything, ugly, fat, invisible, not wife material. Honestly, I could go on. It was hard for me to see “good” titles littered among that trash. I realized that I had believed so many things about me that simply weren’t true. In my quiet time, I began to allow my memories to bring forth the revelation of where those things began. I asked Jesus to walk with me through that, it can be really painful friends. But, if you know He is walking through it with you, it makes it a little more palatable.
So, one of the first instances was a memory from my freshman year of high school. I was asked by a senior to go to the prom. I was so excited! I felt so honored by this guy. My mom and I went to the fabric store and picked the most beautiful white satin fabric. Then we picked the pattern for the dress. It was so beautiful. It was a heart shaped strapless dress with a drop waist and ruffles. My mom worked tirelessly on that dress to have it finished by the prom. Every time I tried it on, I felt like a princess. I was chosen. I would twirl and imagine dancing with this guy at the prom. So magical… Well this guy happened to be on the baseball team and we were really good as a team. There was a game that night so he picked me up after. When he arrived to pick me up, I opened the door so excited to see him. I stood there, hair done, make up perfect, my princess dress on….He said it was late so we would just go to dinner and not go to the prom. He never complemented me. I felt so discounted. The thoughts of me looking beautiful and radiant soon turned to I must not be pretty enough. I must not have chosen the right dress. Maybe I should have done my hair differently. I began quickly re-wallpapering my mind with these false truths about me. And I bought every one, hook, line and sinker. It gets better…after dinner he brought me home. He knew I had friends on the tennis team that were older and had been invited to a post prom party. So he said, “I know you were invited to the same party, if you’re there and I don’t say hi its because I’m having too good of a time.” Wow. I remember those words verbatim like it was yesterday. It’s been 26 years!
So friends, can you see how these events can define us. If I look at that memory and study it, many of my life choices with other guys were set up by that one memory. I bought into the lie that I’m not pretty enough, that I don’t deserve to be honored, that I’m not good enough to experience the great dances in life. I should take what I can get, because I’m just not special enough. That still brings tears to my eyes, but not because it still hurts, it makes me sad that I truly subscribed to that standard for my life for so long. After walking through that memory, I asked Jesus to remind me what the truth is about me. I looked up scriptures of affirmation. Who I am because of who He is. I am a princess because I am a daughter of the King. I decided to make a list of what my Father would want for my life in a potential suitor. Not on my list, not in my life. It takes intention and time to read our life backwards, but I promise it’s worth it. Time to clean out your bookshelves friends, new titles and adventures await.
In your quiet time today, imagine your bookshelves. What titles do you see? What books is it time to get rid of and replace with better titles? Can you ask Jesus to walk through some of your memories with you? What are the false beliefs you adopted and what is the truth about who you are instead? Consider what life choices you’ve possibly made because of the lies and how you can begin to choose a different path based on truth.
Deuteronomy 7:6
The Message (MSG)
6 Do this because you are a people set apart as holy to God, your God. God, your God, chose you out of all the people on Earth for himself as a cherished, personal treasure.
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