Day 11 From Repurposed Find to Life Found

Day 11
So now that we've been considering resetting. Returning to our original positions and risking leaving behind some thought patterns, maybe comfortable surroundings, maybe taking some risks. I wonder what it is you're struggling with? What does that feel like for you? Where do you feel the most vulnerable?

When a new opportunity presents itself, something maybe you've been waiting for, can you receive it with arms wide open or are you still second guessing it? I'll share a little about what that might look like. In all my 41 years on this earth, I have never fallen in-love before. I don't think my heart was prepared to be that vulnerable, that exposed , that open. So recently, I've been working through a lot of reflection and reframing regarding that. Done a lot of journaling and spent an awful lot of time of solitude just wondering about that and how my heart feels about it. I came to the conclusion that I had to be willing to take the chance as CS Lewis wrote so beautifully "to have my heart wrung and broken" sounds awful doesn't it? But the irony is the beauty in falling in-love. Then learning to be present to fully experience of every moment of it. 

So recently, quite by a wonderful surprise, I met someone. He is handsome, sweet and has the most nurturing spirit. Yes, I've had butterflies ever since I met him and those butterflies seem to triple when I actually get to see him and spend time with him. It's interesting that my natural instinct, is to take my heart and hide it. It's what I've always done. But this time, this time I prayerfully have allowed it to be exposed. I have taken it out of the "coffin of selfishness" and I am drinking up the experience of getting to know this man's heart, sharing his dreams, hearing about his journey. It's been so fun! And, we'll just see where it goes...the reality is most people don't know. That's part of relationship, there are no guarantees. But you can't be afraid to venture out and find out. You can't always be in control and have the upper hand. You cannot repurpose a relationship and make it what you want it to be anymore than you should repurpose yourself. Part of the wonder of it is to be fluid, to move as it moves and see where it goes. 

One of my biggest life lessons has been learning to honor those around me by embracing them completely. And to honor myself by remaining true to my identity, so that when we come together you have a beautiful kaleidoscope of life experience, lessons learned along the way, a fresh pair of eyes to show you the world and maybe color it a different way from what you'd known before. 

A great quote I heard recently is "fear can paralyze you or fear can be your driver", I'm choosing to allow it to propel me into the unknown. The adventure awaits! Will you join me?

In your quiet time today, consider what you feel when life propositions you to enjoy a new experience. Do you embrace it and excitedly drink it fully or do you shrink back and reach for your security blanket? Is fear your captor or your driver?