The definition of fear is being an emotion caused by a perceived threat. If the threat is perceived, is it real? So, the natural reaction is flight or fight. Are either one of these good really? I mean if we fight, are we being logical at the time? Are we reacting or responding? Fight sounds like a heck of a lot of emotion that can go bad real quick. Flight means we run. We're not even going to attempt it. We are so far removed from the situation, we're almost paralyzed. Hmmm...not many choices here and yet so many decisions, so many responses, so many actions are based out of this one all encompassing emotion. I believe fear can be birthed out of anger. It can be birthed out of anxiety. It can even be birthed out of joy. We have a fight with a loved one. Why did they say that? Why did they do that? I perceive I might be hurt or lose you so I will...fight or flight. I have a test coming up, I'm anxious about it. What if I fail? I'm afraid to fail so I will...fight or flight. I'm so proud of my son going off to play tennis in Indiana! That's a whole other state! That's far away. What if he gets sick? I perceive he may need me so I will....fight or flight. Do you see what I'm talking about? The runaway train in our minds is leaving the station and some of us have a round trip ticked that's been stamped endless times. Aren't you tired? Aren't you so done living in your perceived reality because we all know the real reality is hard enough. I'm as guilty as the next person. Believe me, I think I've been the conductor for the aforementioned train, "All aboard the fear train is leaving in 5 minutes! Grab all your perceived baggage and hold on its gonna be a bumpy ride!" Can you imagine how our loved ones feel? Because if you're like me, you've had arguments about things that haven't even happened yet, but we fear they will. We're just being efficient right? Wrong. We're wrecking ourselves and our relationships. We're choosing to fight battles that aren't real, they're perceived remember. So, what this looks like is a need to control, a limited view, and lots of sleepless nights of what if's. Unfortunately, I've had plenty of time to wrestle with this. The sobering reality is I've lost much in my quest to change this part of me. The collateral damage is friendships gone, love that's lost, and lots of great experiences I've missed out on because of my fear. So how did I turn this around? It's a work in progress...reading enough of my blog you've figured out that I lean on my fait..a lot. I attempt to come to God daily with a repentful heart for trusting my fears instead of Him. I've made restitution with those I've hurt, where I can. Most of all, I decided the devastation had to stop. I began really focusing on looking at situations as they were, almost from an outside perspective. Taking myself out of it seems to quell the fears. I noticed that I forgot to celebrate and rejoice not only for good things but for lessons learned along the way and growth in who I was becoming. I realized that fear was all bark and no bite. The fears, after all, were perceived. Finally, I faced the fact that fear kept me from living. I had already robbed myself of precious moments and relationships. Now I choose to risk living courageously, being aware of my heart, but knowing that I don't have to protect it. I don't choose fight or flight, I simply choose to stand. I stand based on truth and not perception. I stand objectively not subjectively stubborn. I stand for hearts being heard not love and lives being lost.
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear,
because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears
is not made perfect in love."
1 John 4:18
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