Have you ever been in a place in your journey where its just plain hard to believe? You've struggled with whatever it is, you've been on your knees daily, you long for resolution. You long for light at the end of the tunnel. You long for hope. There's a scripture in Proverbs that says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."This is beautiful and so meaningful when you break it down. Defer means to postpone, put off for a later time. Our answer to prayer will come, but maybe it's in God's time, not our own. Sometimes its so hard for us to wrap our brain around that. We live in a culture where expectation is now. Its a very disposable philosophy. If things aren't working out the way we want, if they don't look the way we want, if our expectations aren't being met--time to change the channel. Disappointment leads to disposal of the situation. We are in marriages less time than we're courting. We change jobs when we're disenchanted. We buy and sell real estate every 3-5 years. We have become surf happy people in a world and a noncommittal culture that allows it. But, I wonder what it would look like if we held on. If we realized the hope is only deferred, only postponed, only delayed. The other meaning for deferred is to submit humbly. So the scripture would read, "hope humbled makes the heart sick..." Humble is another posture that is very difficult in a culture that is brimming with entitlement. We seek what we believe is justice in the name of equality. We don't back down. Yet, sometimes the answer comes in realizing that if we humble ourselves and continue to hope for the desires of our heart, they shall come to pass. Maybe the time we're "deferred" is training ground for us spiritually. Is there more prep work that must be done before the answer arrives? Are there things we need to work on individually to have the desires of our heart fulfilled? Now for the other half, "a longing fulfilled is a tree of life". Have you waited through the deferred period long enough to see the desire fulfilled? Aren't you beyond grateful? In my opinion, the tree of life is actually the hope we've been looking for. It's the redemption in our stories that keeps us believing. I think of what the tree of life in the garden of Eden must have looked like. In my mind, it's a large canopy of branches with huge succulent fruit that weigh down the branches. It's beautiful. It's a covering from the storms, its nourishment, it's our manna. Our tree of life is what sustains us till the next part of the journey. In my prayer time, I've tried to be more aware of what I'm asking for. I've tried to examine my heart so that I can be clear if my hope is deferred because God has deferred it or because I'm deferring it by the posture I've taken. Have I humbled myself and considered the circumstance and when my longing is fulfilled am I grateful? Do I live off its sustenance and consider how I've been blessed? Do I long for Jesus or what He provides me?
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."
Proverbs 13:12
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