This blog is a little different and much more personal for me today. I wrote it yesterday on the plane back to Texas. If I only knew what we were about to go through....I would realize why the Lord gave me this and why it was so appropriate. My son was in emergency surgery last night directly after flying in from our visit to Indiana University. I bought the shirt I'm wearing and had no idea how fitting it would be. Rise to the occasion. That's why Jake will fill right in as a Hoosier. He was strong and fierce and faced this battle like the mighty warrior he is. I'm so proud to be his momma and I'm so proud to be a daughter of the King.
I'd also like to thank the wonderful angels that attended him in the Trinity Mother Frances ER in Tyler last night, they were amazing. Special thanks to Dr. Ellis, in my eyes the best trauma surgeon in the world. And sweet Evelyn, my new friend and angel, thank you for sitting with me during what was probably the scariest time in my life.
It had been quite the night already in the ER in Indiana and the only thing that kept coming to my mind was I am in survival mode. I decided to look up the meaning. The first definition that popped up on Google is - when you're so tired, you have to settle into a slow, determined pace to make it home....
Really? All it needed was my picture next to the definition. My son is so ill. I can't do anything physically to help him but try to keep him comfortable. Spiritually, I pray for comfort for him and peace for me. I have only slept 3 hours. I had to find a pharmacy open after going to the ER and get us to the airport to make our flights back to Texas. I'm so tired but I had to find a slow, determined pace to make it back home...I wonder if you can remember a time in your journey like that? The mountains ahead look treacherous and huge, you have just enough strength to make it if you don't try to go too fast and wear yourself out. The key words that jump out at me in that definition are settling in to a slow, determined pace. When is the last time you put slow and determined in the same sentence? Usually when we think of determined we describe it with words like frenzied and fast but slow? Settle? Not in this woman's vocabulary. But this time, I've had to think through the process that would help my son. I had to be methodical in getting everything done that needed to happen and he's hurting so we had to go at a snail's pace. All the while, my loving Father is teaching me. I'm reminded of Mathew 11:28-30. The Message version is so good it talks about learning the unforced rhythms of grace. It goes on to say our Father will not lay anything on us that's ill fitting or heavy. Clearly at times our flesh begs to differ. The unforced rhythms of grace, doesn't that sound a lot like settling in to a slow determined pace to make it home. See while we're here on this journey we call life, all we have to be on is survival mode. He does the rest. Our Father is our provider, our refuge, our hope. He tells us when to move, when to sit still, when to reach out to others. God has His plan. He is methodical and when we're hurting, sometimes He even slows down the pace. He'll never tell us when to worry, because we don't have to. Can you imagine if to this point I've been taking care of my son and then all the sudden I tell him, "don't get too comfortable, in just a little while you'd better worry, you'll be on your own." I would never say that to him and our Father would never say that to us. He will be with us throughout the journey. He promises that. So now this mustang spirit of mine is slowed down from a full run to a trot. Life's like that sometimes. We get hit with a barrage of battles and the only way to get through is to have grace for ourselves, not give up, and remember to look up. We can huddle safely under the wings of our Father. We settle into a slow, determined pace so we can make it home.
No comments:
Post a Comment