Today, I'm tired. I'm thankful. I'm grateful, but I'm tired. I'm reminded of Oswald Chamber's quote, "God never gives strength for tomorrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the moment..." So true. It's easier to understand scriptures like "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Yes, they do. I could not muster enough to even think about tomorrow. This situation has taught me many lessons about what I place stock in and how I handle things. Jake's recovery has to be intentionally slow and followed precisely. He has to follow the lead of the doctors who have a plan for him to get well. Left to himself, Jake would be playing tennis next week. This has been such a spiritual lesson for me. When I was younger and encountered dysfunction, it became part of who I was. I made decisions based on what I knew. I allowed people to hurt me. I was sick. I needed God, our great healer to help me. I needed Him to bind up my wounds and mend my broken heart. But, one of the key things to that is the recovery. I needed to allow Him to give me the prescriptions, the rehab. Can't you just see it? Take one dose of self-respect three times daily until finished. Take one dose of faith as needed. Don't forget to do your spiritual exercises to maintain flexibility and strength--reading the Word, quiet time and most of all check in with God daily and let Him know how you're doing. Seriously, I would have saved myself so much heartbreak and struggles if I had not bee so stubborn and followed Him instead of my flesh. I would have saved so many days and nights filled with worry and strategizing if I had only remembered to stay in the moment and trust. Yes, I believe Jake's life event, his tent pole is as much for him as it is for me. I've learned to not self diagnose, self prescribe, self fix. Why do we think we know better when our Father parted the Red Sea, healed the lame, the blind sea, raised people from the dead, etc. And oh, how He loves us. He offers a free clinic 24/7 and walk-ins are always welcome :)
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Psalm 147:3
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